This trail is a blast!: I hope you have good medical insurance!

I think my saddle is slipping!: Slow down, will ya?

I've decided to wear my sweats today, who cares about "proper riding
attire"?: I've gained 5 pounds.

I've decided to buy a lighter saddle: I've gained 10 pounds

I'm taking up clog dancing: I've gained 25 pounds.

Western riders are a bunch of cowboy-hat-wearin', snuff chewing,
lousy-hang-on-to-the-saddle-horn ridin' snobs: I'm an English riding snob.

English riders are a bunch of tight-pant-wearin', uptight,
look-down-their-noses punks:

I'm a Western riding punk.

I'm carbo loading: Pass the ice cream.

If you're a good rider, you don't need to wear a helmet: I'm so stupid a
brain injury wouldn't affect me.

Nobody needs a gaited horse: I can't afford a gaited horse.

A gaited horse is the only way to go!: I just dropped three-months salary for
a gaited horse!

If you don't fall off, you're not pushing yourself enough: I fall off a lot.

I do all my own training: When I have a bucket full of grain, I can catch my
horse.

Thanks for waiting: Wipe that smug grin off your ugly face.

I'm pretty sure I know where we are now: We're hopelessly lost.

This section of trail looks do-able: You first, sucker.

Riding pants look stupid: I've never ridden English before .... and I've
never had a saddle sore.

Been riding much?: Are you a better rider than me?

Let's take it easy today: Ready? Set? GO!!

from: www.clipclop.com