Top 10 Exercises To Become a Better Horseperson

Drop heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout,
"Get off, stupid! GET OFF!"

Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll
lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check
without even looking down.

Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the
neighbors what you're doing; they might as well know now.

Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a
halt. Smile as if you're having fun.

Hone your fibbing skills: "See, Hon', moving hay bales is FUN!"

Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyses to the
shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

Borrow the U.S. Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be . . . . bitten, thrown,
kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen.. . .. .

Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your expensive riding clothes and repeat
to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,
this is . . .."

Marry money