"The world has been thrown into an uproar by the master monster's
supreme villainy!" the narration informs us. It's a good thing, too,
because we wouldn't have known without being told. From what's been
shown, it just looks like dumb kid stuff. About what the three Stupid
Donkeys would have done themselves. Evidently they don't have much
imagination.
"What dire terrors will the fiend of infamy unleash next upon the
unsuspecting world?" the narration asks. "Is their no limit to his
monster madness?"
As if in answer to their own question, the next scene shows the enemy
of the human race going up to a door, knocking on it, then running away
and hiding before anyone can get to the door. By they time they've
opened it, the monster is gone. This is supposed to be real horrible,
but as an act of supreme monster infamy, it leaves something to be
desired. But the monster seems to think it's a good gimmick, and
proceeds to do it to everyone living on that street. It's all shown
from the monster's viewpoint, of course, with the insane idea that
you'll think you're doing it yourself as you watch.

"Is there no hope for the world? Will the terror ever end? Can no one
stop this monster?" asks the announcer. The announcer sounds like one
of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, although it's hard to say which.
They all sound the same.
"But flying out of the darkness of the night comes- the three Stupid
Donkey Beanys!" announces the announcer. The Three Stupid Donkey
Beanys theme plays in the background. It is supposed to sound
triumphant, but really sounds more like a little kid banging on a
lawn mower.
"Have no fear- the three stupid Donkeys are here!" they declare as
they run up to confront the forces of evil. We are shown this from
the viewpoint of the forces of evil to confirm that they are us.
"Curses! The three Stupid Donkey Beanys!" says the monster, in what
is supposed to be your voice, although it sounds just like one of the
three Stupid Donkey Beanys.
"Unhand this world, you villian!" says one of the three Stupid Donkey
Beanys, it not mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"Your reign of terror is at an end," says another Donkey Beany, as
stupid as the first.
"Because it's snowing," says the leftover Donkey Beany, still only as
stupid as the other two, for all his efforts to surprass them in
excellence of stupidity.
"Then we'll just have a snowball fight!" says the monster. The camera
shows his hands scooping up a snowball and throwing it at the three
Stupid Donkey Beanys. It's a monster snowball, about what you'd use
for the "bottom" of a snowman, and it bowls them all off their feet.
"Oh no!" the annnouncer gasps, in the voice of one of the three
Stupid Donkey Beanys. "Is this the end of our heroes?"

"It sure looks like it," says the monster, in what sounds like the
voice of one of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, although you are
supposed to think it is your voice.
The monster snowball bowls them along and the more it rolls, the more
snow it gathers. It smashes every house on the street as it goes along,
then rolls over a cliff.
"Aieeeeee!" scream the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, from somewhere
inside the monster snowball, as it falls a lonnnnnnng way down.
"Oh no!" says the announcer, who also sounds suspiciously like one of
the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, although they're all supposed to be
inside of the snowball. "Is this the end of the three Stupid donkey
beanys? Will they be dashed to pieces at the 'bottom'? Will they all be
killed?"

"It sure looks like it," says one of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys,
it not mattering much which. They all sound the same, and they all
sound the same as the monster, too.
"We're hurtling to the 'bottom' to our doom!" says another Donkey
Beany, as stupid as the first.
"Inside a giant snowball!" says the leftover Donkey Beany, still only
as stupid as the other two, despite all his lofty ambitions to
surprass them in excellence of stupidity.
The giant snowball has been falling for some time, although we've
only just been shown the inside of it, which is lined with pin-up
pictures of the Farmer's Daughter, naturally. The camera lingers over
them for some time as the three Stupid Donkey Beanys build suspense.
You can tell because of the sounds of hammering that indicate that
they're finally doing work for once in their previously useless
lives.
"We've done it!" says one of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, it not
mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"We've saved us!" says another Donkey Beany, as stupid as the first.
"We filled the interior of the snowball with ping-pong balls so that
it would float!" says the leftover Donkey Beany, still only as stupid
as the other two, although he's supposed to have worked in a
reference to their favorite heroine, also known as the "ping" girl.
Although it is complete nonsense, their explanation is supposed to
have worked, as we are next shown a scene of the monster snowball
flying back up again. It goes wayyyy up, just as it gone wayyy down
before, and then it goes back and un-smashes every house on the
street the same as it had smashed them all before. All they've really
done is to run the film backwards, but the true scientiffic
explanation is supposed to escape you as you supposedly marvel over
their nonsense explanation.

After un-smashing every house on the street, the monster snowball
flies right back at the monster, who'd thrown it in the first
place. "Aieeeeeeeeee!" screeches the monster in a stupid Donkey Beany
voice. He is bowled over by it as they had been before.
"So ends the menace of the monster," says one of the three Stupid
Donkey Beanys, it not mattering much which. They all feel the same.
They're all standing in the midst of the wreckage of the snowball.
Somehow it was supposed to have knocked out the monster without
affecting them, which is about as scientiffically acurate as anything
else they've had in their show.
"Another great victory for Donkeykind," says another Donkey Beany, as
stupid as the first.
"We made the world safe for pin-up pictures of the Farmer's
Daughter!" says the leftover Donkey Beany, merely as stupid as the
other two, for all his efforts to surprass them in excellence of
stupidity.
Then there is a swell of triumphant music, or the sound of a little
kid banging on a lawn mower if you want to be more precise, and the
three Stupid Donkey Beanys run off into the sunset going "HEE-HAW!
HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW!" once again.


                               The End

It's time for another episode. Again our ears are assaulted by the
nauseating "Donkey Tales" theme song, as if we hadn't heard it far
too many times before. Then as the show opens, the three Stupid
Donkey Beanys are standing around congratulating themselves on how
they got back at their disloyal audience for not believing in them
before. But suddenly ( perhaps because it is in the script ) a new
problem arises: Do they even know who they are themselves? Maybe it
is time for them to find themselves, yet another long-dead fad they
are determined to get more mileage out of.
But how will they do it? Will they find themselves in the time-
honored ( or worn, depending on your interpertation ) manner of
others who came before them? Or will they come up with a new and
original approach? Not these guys! They're going to swipe somebody
else's stuff again! Suddenly, with a thunderclap, they are
transformed to strange beings known as "Selves" who actually look
exactly like stupid Donkeys, only with long fakey-looking wigs and
supposedly primitive-looking garments, and the title for this
epsisode announces "Selfquest!"
"Now we can go on a 'Selfquest'!" says one of the three stupid Donkey
Beanys, it not mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"Now we can go on a 'Selfquest', but only after something else we
must do first!" says another Donkey Beany, as stupid as the first.
"Now we can go on a 'Selfquest', but only after hanging up some pin-
up pictures of the Farmer's Daughter!"
Then there is the triumphant sound of Donkey theme music, or the
sound of a little kid banging on a lawn mower to be more precise, and
the three stupid Donkey Beanys run about in great haste
and "Selfquest" costumes to hang up pin-up pictures of the Farmer's
Daughter, who isn't wearing a "Selfquest" costume herself, or much of
anything else.

"What do we do now?" asks one of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, it not
mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"We don't really know anything about selfs," admitted another Donkey
Beany, as stupid as the first.
"But being Ralph fans, we know about his self cartoon," remembered the
remaining Donkey Beany, still only as stupid as the other two, although
he got to make a Ralph refernence that time.
"We can remake the Ralph self story!" decided all three Stupid Donkey
Beanys at once. Mainly because it was in the script, although you were
supposed to think it was some sort of a spontaneous realization.
And so the three Stupid Donkey Beanys dashed back and forth in a
particularly stupid manner, banging their heads into walls and doing
other such useful things, until they somehow crash through the fourth
dimension and fall into selfland. They fall an unimaginably vast
distance, just like they're always doing, and then finally they
hit "bottom"! Something else they always do on this show!

"Ouch!" says one of the three Stupid Donkey Beanys, it not mattering
much which. They all feel the same.
"Ouch!" says another Donkey Beany, as stupid as the first.
"I hurt my self," says the remaining Donkey Beany, still only as
stupid as the other two, although it sounds as though he's found his
self at last. It appears as if his self is his "bottom", from the
part of his anatomy he is rubbing.
"At least we made it into selfland," says the first Stupid Donkey
Beany, something which makes no sense at all, even if they pretend it
is scientiffic. Even if there was such a place, they would have no
way of knowing that they'd gotten there. It looks exactly like the
place they just came from.
"What do we do now?" says one of the other stupid Donkey Beanys, it
not mattering much which. They have a hard time keeping track of
things like that them selfs.
"I know!" replies the previous speaker. "We look for treasure!" Which
is about what they usually do in their adventures anyway.
"And have the greatest adventure that ever was known," adds one of
the other Donkey Beanys, stupidly. Actually this was some kind of a
song in the Ralph cartoon, but they can't remember the words, so they
just play their triumphant donkey music theme and go "Hee-haw!" Their
triumphant donkey music theme of course is the one that sounds like a
little kid banging on a lawn mower. They have other themes, too,
like "Donkey trail", but they lost that record and so haven't been
using it lately. It could have something to do with their pretending
to not know what records are any more, which is about as stupid as
anything else they do.

Soon the three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs come upon a groups of seven
little men. They are the Saccharinites, who were last seen in one of
their favorite heroine's adventures. The Saccharinites are supposed to
be elves or something, but somehow were never very good at it. The
Saccharinites are thoroughly  disgusting individuals. You would almost
think they were the most disgusting things possible, except that the
three stupid Donkey Beany Selfs are even worse.
"Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!" laugh the three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs,
as was their wont.
"Whaddaya laughin' at?" demands one of the Saccharinites, it not
mattering much which. They all felt the same.
"They're laughin' at us!" says one of the other Saccharinites, as
stupid as the first.
"Let's put the slug on 'em!" says another Saccharinites, who somehow
fails to be any stupider than the other two, although you would have
hoped better of him because of his extraordinarily stupid appearance.
"Oh no!" gasp the three stupid Donkey Beany Selfs, as the seven
Saccharinites advance menacingly. What will happen now? Will the three
Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs get their "bottoms" whupped? Is their Self
Quest doomed to failure right at the very beginning?

"Oh no!" says one of the three stupid Donkey Beany Selfs, it not
mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"What will we do now?" asks another Donkey Beany Self, as stupid as
the first.
"Put up pin-up pictures of the Farmer's Daughter!" says the leftover
Donkey Beany, still only as stupid as the other two, even if he did
get to work in a reference to their favorite heroine.
In a trice ( because there are three of them ) the stupid Donkey
Beany selfs have everything that isn't moving covered with pictures
of the scantily-clad blonde.
"Wheeet-whewww!" whistle the Saccharinites.
"What do you know?" asks one of the three stupid Donkey Beany Selfs,
it not mattering much which. They don't worry too much about that
themselves, so we needn't worry too much about it, either.
"They like her too!" says another Donkey Beany Self, as stupid as the
first.
"Wanna join our fan club?" asks the remaining Donkey Beany Self, as
stupid as the other two, but no stupider. It's impossible to improve
upon perfection.
"Sure!" say all the seven Saccharinites.
"Then it's official!" say all three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs.
"What do we do now?" asks one of the new fan club members, stupidly.
"We fight over which one of us likes her best," one of the three
Donkey Beany Selfs says, stupidly.
Wham! Bam! Crash! Bang! Biff! Boom! Pow! go all the sound effects
they've stolen from Batman!

The fight seems to go on forever, with everyone fighting everybody over
who likes the Farmer's Daughter best, and frequent cutaways to her
pictures to let everyone know what they're fighting for. But at great
length, and without any kind of explanation whatsoever, the fighting is
finally over, and the three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs stand alone on
the field of battle, or was it the field of pin-up pictures? Anyway,
they're the only ones there, other than the pictures.
"We blew them away," says one of the three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs,
it not mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"As only we could do," says another Donkey Beany Self, as stupid as the
first.
"Because we are fans!" proclaims the leftover Donkey Beany Self, still
stuck at the same mediocre level of stupidity as the other two, no
matter how he strives to surprass them in excellence of stupidity.

Happy Halloween from the Tortoise Shell Society. - the living Farmer's
Daughter fan

Happy Thanksgiving to all the members of the club, and even to the
members of the Tortoise's Hell Society. Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw! -
the living Farmer's Daughter fan, who is a much bigger fan of hers than
they are!

Merry Christmas from the club. - the living Farmer's Daughter fan

Happy New Year from the Tortoise Shell Society. - the living Farmer's
Daughter fan

The three Stupid Donkey Beanys continue on their self quest, not
knowing if or when they might find their selfs, even though they have
already managed to find somebody else. They still can't remember the
words to the Ralph song about the greatest adventure that ever was
known, so they just keep playing their triumphal donkey music theme (
the same one they always have, or the sound of a little kid banging on
a lawn mower, if you want to be particular ) and going "Hee-haw! Hee-
haw! Hee-haw!" It is all very monotonous and repetitious like all of
their adventures are, in order not to disappoint the audience. The
audience, they say, is comfortable with their format and has come to
expect their lousy program the way that it is.

Eventually, they come upon a group of three little men. They are the
Candy Kids, who were last seen in one of their favorite heroine's
adventures. Like the Saccharinites, the Candy Kids are supposed to be
some sort of lovable little charachters from a fairy tale, but were
never very good at it to begin with, and have gone downhill ever since,
due in part to suffering from toothaches as a result of a sugar-rich
diet. You would almost think they were the most disgusting things
possible, except that the three stupid Donkey Beany selfs are even
worse.

"Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!" laugh the three stupid Donkey Beany selfs,
as was their wont. They insist that the audience wants it, as well.
"Whaddya laughin' at?" says one of the Candy Kids, it not mattering
much which. They all felt the same, and they didn't look any better.
"They're laughin' at us!" says one of the other Candy Kids, as stupid
as the first.
"Let's put the slug on 'em!" says another Candy Kid, who somehow fails
to be any stupider than the other two, a failing common to all the
third members of teams in this story, due to a lack of creativity on
the part of the Donkeys.
"Oh no!" gasp the three stupid donkey Beany selfs, as the three Candy
Kids advance menacingly. What will happen now? Will the three Stupid
Donkey Beany selfs get their "bottoms" kicked? Is their Self quest
doomed to failure already? Does anybody really care, for all the
supposed audience identity proposed by the makers of the series?
Incidentally, they're still sore at the audience their own selfs.

"Oh no!" says one of the three stupid Donkey Beany selfs, it not
mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"What will we do now?" asks another Donkey Beany self, as stupid as
the first.
"Put up pin-up pictures of the Farmer's Daughter!" says the leftover
Donkey Beany, still only as stupid as the other two, even if he did
get to work in a reference to their favorite heroine. In a trice, the
stupid Donkey Beany selfs have everything that isn't moving covered
with pictures of the scantily-clad blonde, and this time they even
put a few pictures on some mangy varmints that aren't moving too
fast, figuring they probably count as part of the scenery.
"Wheet-whewwww!" whistle the Candy kids, through rotting teeth.
"What do you know?" asks one of the three stupid Donkey Beany selfs,
it not mattering much which. They never really thought it was all
that important, so devoted to the Farmer's Daughter are they.
"They like her too!" says another Donkey Beany Self, as stupid as the
first.
"Wanna join our fan club?" asks the remaining Donkey Beany Self, as
stupid as the other two, but no stupider. It's a shame, because he
really would like to be.
"Sure!" say all three of the Candy Kids.
"Then it's official!" say all three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs.
"What do we do now?" asks one of the new fan club members, stupidly.
"We fight over which one of us likes her the best," one of the three
Donkey Beany Selfs says, stupidly.
Wham! Bam! Crash! Bang! Biff! Boom! Pow! go all the sound effects
the've stolen from Batman!

The fight seems to go on forever, maybe even longer than the last one,
with everyone fighting over the Farmer's Daughter and frequent cutaways
to her pictures to let everyone know what they're fighting for. But at
great length, and without any kind of explanation whatsoever, the fight
finally ends, and the three Supid Donkey Beany Selfs stand along on the
field of battle, or is it the field of pin-up pictures? Anyway, they're
the only ones there, apart from the pictures, and a few mangy beasts
that somehow aren't really supposed to count because they aren't
donkeys.
"We blew them away," says one of the three Stupid Donkey Beany Selfs,
it not mattering much which. They all feel the same.
"As only we could do," says another Donkey Beany Self, as stupid as the
first.
"Because we are fans!" proclaims the leftover Donkey Beany Self, still
stuck at the same mediocre level of stupidity as the other two, no
matter how he strives to surprass them in excellence of stupidity.

The three Stupid Donkey Beanys continue on their self quest, not
knowing if or when they might find their selfs, even though they have
twice managed to find others than them selfs. They still can't
remember the words to the Ralph song about the greatest adventure
that ever was known, so they keep playing their triumphal donkey
music theme ( the same one they always have, or the sound of a little
kid banging on a lawn mower, if you want to be particular ) and
going "Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!" It is all very monotonous again as
it was before, but they keep doing it anyway, having gotten stuck in
a rut they call a comfortable format that the audience has come to
expect.
Eventually, they come upon a dead cat.
"DEAD CAT?!" exclaims one of the three stupid Donkey Beany selfs, it
not mattering much which."What's this dead cat doing here?"
"It's supposed to be Cookie Kooks!" said another Donkey Beany self,
as stupid as the first. He was referring to the next group of little
men their favorite heroine had met in one of her adventures.
"My dead cat is as important as anything," insisted the leftover
Donkey Beany self, still no stupider than the other two, although
he'd managed to ruin everything for the other two by departing from
their formula.
"But you didn't even have a cat!" exclaimed one of Stupid Donkey
Beany selfs, it not mattering much which. None of them had sense
enough to be trusted with the care of another living thing.
"Not even a dead one," said another Donkey Beany, as stupid as the
first, and for once as correct.
"Something, maybe a bone, got rolled up in some mud and old hair, and
then I had one, only it died," insisted the Donkey Beany who was
responsible for the dead cat business, stupidly. "It's not fair! And
it's not fair that all my stories seem to build up to something that
never actually happens!"
"Oh, something's going to happen, all right!" said one of the other
Donkey Beanys, it not mattering much which. The others both felt the
same...
WHAM! BAM! POW! ZOWEE! BAMMO! BIFF! BOOM! BANG! went the sound
effects they'd stolen from Batman!

They roll over and over, fighting with desperate desmondness ( being
a fan of that too, though seldom do they indeed find it these days ),
and finally falling into a hole. "Aiieeeee!" they screech, same as
always. These guys really are in a rut, except that now it's a hole.
"I found my self!" says one of the three stupid Donkey Beanys, it not
mattering much which. They all sound the same.
"I found my self!" says another Donkey Beany, as stupid as the first.
"I found my self, too!" says the leftover Donkey Beany, still stuck
at the same mediocre level of stupidity as the other two, for all his
efforts to excell in excellence of stupidity.
There is a swelling of their triumphant Donkey music ( or the sound
of a little kid banging on a lawn mower, if you want to be precise ),
and then three stupid Donkey Beany heads poke up into view from out
of the hole in the ground, only they've got different headgear on
now. "We're Bottom-ugly Bastards!" they all say.
Then as they emerge, they go into their new theme song, which is
about "Bottom-ugly Bastards", only they can't remember the words,
just like always, so they just keep saying "Bottom-ugly Bastards"
over and over again. The whole idea is that they're aliens, evidently
they've become so alienated from everyone else that they just had to
come from another planet now. They say that they're being persecuted
for no reason, but that's just an excuse and an attempt to shift the
blame from themselves to everyone else.

"Desperate Desmond" was an old comic strip, these guys are showing
their age again. "Bottom-ugly Bastards" was inspired by a kind of a
gross cartoon, these guys have been watching television again. - the
living Farmer's Daughter fan

Happy Valentes Day from the club. - the living Farmer's daughter fan

"What do we do now?" asked one of the three Bottom-ugly Bastards, it
not mattering much which. They're all just as stupid.
"I don't know," said another Bottom-ugly Bastard, as stupid as the
first.
"Check the script," said the leftover Bottom-ugly Bastard, still stuck
at the same mediocre level of stupidity as the other two, despite his
best efforts to surprass them in excellence of stupidity.
The three Bottom-ugly Bastards hauled out their scripts and attempted
to read them, but were unable to do so, because they didn't know how to
read. So they tore up the scripts, wadded them up, stomped on them, and
started putting up pin-up pictures of the Farmer's Daughter, because
that was more important anyway. Then they started fighting over who
liked her best, because that was another thing they were always doing.
They hoped that they might be able to make it all the way through the
rest of the episode before anybody figured out that they didn't know
what they were supposed to be doing, and then maybe somebody could tell
them what they were supposed to be doing when they got to the next
episode.

Just when the fighting was at it's most intense, three more figures
stepped into view- Charlie Brown, The Rat, and The Puppy Dog. They knew
what was going to happen next even if the three Stupid Donkey Beany
Bottom-Ugly Bastards didn't.
"We're the ones who like the Farmer's Daughter best of all, and we're
going to beat you up to prove it!" they said.
And they did!

could I please unsubscribe for now?
thanks
ellen levin

If I took you out of the club, it would consider you "banned" and you
wouldn't be able to rejoin, so it would be better if you took yourself
out of the club. You do this by going to the club's home page and
clicking on "Edit membership" at the top of the page, then this takes
you to the page where you can take yourself out of the club. - the
living Good Fairy fan

--- In tortoiseshellsociety@yahoogroups.com, "ellenlevin"
<ellenlevin@...> wrote:
>
> could I please unsubscribe for now?
> thanks
> ellen levin
>

I put a Super Turtle story in the files section. Super Turtle is like a
turtle version of Superman that they had in DC comics in the 1960's.
This one is from Worlds Finest #154. - the living turtle fan

I put in another Super Turtle story. Both are now in a Super Turtle
folder. - the living Super Turtle fan

"Happy Easter from the Tortoise's Hell Society!" typed the three stupid
Donkey Beanies, in the stupidest way possible. One of them kicked at
the keys with his hind legs while the other two held the keyboard and
moved it around for fear that he'd hit it, which he sometimes did
anyway.
Their idol, the Farmer's Daughter, slapped all three of them at once
across their faces. "Now do it right!" she told them.
"Happy Easter from the Tortoise Shell Society!" they somehow managed to
type in the proper way, although they didn't know how to type.
"That's better!" she told them. That made it even better than if they'd
gotten away with fouling things up again like usual. - the living
Farmer's Daughter fan

this is EXCERPT from my new fabel

a work in progress



The Hare and the Turtle

11010

CharlaXFabels

The momentum of the rarebit moved him out over the overhanging rocks to
actually appear that he was running in the spaced air he seemed to be
flying like a coyote in a cartoon his legs spinning in circles making
four little tires for a rabbit car. The crowded forest gasped as the
onlookers took lunch they were watching the race.

THis will be about the turtle and the hare when eye have it eye will
come back and add it this was exciting so far see eh???? stay tuned for
more eye will be back



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