"We'll run at warp speed and then we'll get there faster!" said Captain Kirk. "Wow," said the Old Witch. "Wish I thought of that. Of course, once I get to be...
"What happened to Captain Kirk?" the Old Witch said, unhappily. "He went back to the story with the Little Red-Headed Girl," Bebop told her. "You ought to know...
Our story goes back to the dim reaches of antiquity, just like the Old Witch, which is probably why she keeeps insisting on this angle in her stories. The...
"What a story!" says Captain Kirk, listening to the Devil Head back at the Dingy Diner again. "Oh, it was horrid!" says the Little Red-Headed Girl, offended as...
The Little Red-Headed Girl lit the fuse of the rocket Captain Kirk was sitting on, and off it shot, Kirk and all! BOOM! The rocket went, with a tremendous...
"Don't try this at home, kids!" says Captain Kirk, sitting in the middle of a crater, having somehow managed to come through it all unscathed, as usual. "He...
The Old Witch and her cat sat with their feet up on their desk in the office, just like usual. They thought that was a pretty good start, even if they did have...
The Old Witch pushes her shopping cart with the cat and the trash in it down the alley. You're supposed to be falling out of your seat with agonized...
The Old Witch goes down the alley with her cat in the shopping cart, another boring sequence that is supposed to be filled with heart- pounding excitement of...
Next we see the Devil head at the Dingy Diner again. It's time for another commercial, just like on PBS. "Boys and girls! How would you like to have a lump of...
"I tell you what I'm gonna do," the Devil said to the Witch Doctor, the Crazy Woman, and the President of the United States, "I'll sell you these lumps of...
The Witch Doctor, the Crazy Woman, and the President of the United States snuck up behind the Old Witch with the lumps of black magic coal the Devil had sold...
"Hey!" said the Old Witch. "What's happening?" It was all very strange. She was back in a previous scene in the story, going backwards down the alley. She...
"Oh no! Not again!" says the Old Witch, scarcely able to believe her senses, even though she wrote this story herself. She was going backwards through another...
"Oh no! Not again again!" says the Old Witch, scarce able to comprehend the enormity of the dastardly workings of fate being worked upon her, if such is what...
"Oh no!" said the Old Witch. "Now we really are undone!" "Good," said the cat. "If ever there was a story that needed to be undone, it was this one." They were...
"How come I don't have anything left?" asked the Old Witch. "Not anything from the Witch Doctor! Not anything that I didn't want from the Crazy Woman! Not even...
Our story's beginnings go back to the dim reaches of antiquity again, just like always. The Old Witch is really old, so she likes everything else to be that...
"What a story!" said Kirk, who was back listening to the Devil Head at the Dingy Diner again. "Oh, it was horrid!" said the Little Red-Headed Girl, who never...
The Old Witch sat at her desk in the basement of the Charitable Institution just like she always did at the start of each adventure, but this time something...
"This one is a three-hankie deal," the Old Witch said, reaching into her desk drawer and taking out three hankies, which she preceeded to hold out to the...
The Old Witch pushes her shopping cart with the cat in it down the alley and nothing else happens for a while, although you are supposed to be almost unable to...
When we next see the Old Witch, she has lost her dress, but gained a dirty diaper. The Old Witch picks up a garbage can lid and uses it to put dead fish on,...
But little does the Old Witch know that this idyllic scene is about to be shattered, although she should, as she wrote this thing herself. Re-enter the...
While the Old Witch is busy with the bucket, the villian puts the cat in the back of the truck, afterwards getting in the back himself. The cat is evidently...
The final shot of this silent movie shows the Old Witch and her cat asleep in a cardboard box and their dirty diapers, surrounded by garbage and pieces of rats...
"That was awesome!" critic Lennie Malting gasped in astonishment. "We'll go ahead and give you the oscar, because nobody else has a chance to get it this year...
"Hey! What happened to my Oscar?" said the Old Witch, who not only didn't have the Oscar, she didn't even have the dirty diaper any more. She was back in the...
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